Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
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Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize