I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She bit a glass in half.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Dick very happy bro
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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