His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
