how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
