turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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