You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
