Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
