hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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