He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
