how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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