glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
