I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
