Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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