the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
