i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize