vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
