where does the pee come out of this thing
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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