is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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