a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize