CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
