I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
