his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
