there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
