I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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