If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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