Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
