I wish I only lived at night.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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