MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
