That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
