its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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