So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
