Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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