She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
