Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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