Dual....:-)
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
