She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
