I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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