I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
