I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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