apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
