never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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