is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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