i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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