Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
