Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
