Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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