I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
