You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
