Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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