Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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