C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
