Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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