I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I am never drinking with the goths again.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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