think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
