I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
