this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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