So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
