when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
