so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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