I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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