First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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