Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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