Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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