Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize