I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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