will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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