you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
