Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
