I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
