Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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