Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
