I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
