That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
